Conflicts between parents and their teenagers are sometimes stressful and ”stormy,” but these conflicts rarely leads to a total breakdown in the teenager – parent relationship. Parents are still very important in their adolescents lives as they grow up – important to their development. How the relationship between parent and teenager will develop depends on how the parents behavior towards the teenager is affected by the fact that he or she grows up. Study this following research from Laursen:
Negative development in the relationship teenager – parent:
Young people who experience that the parents change and become strict and forcing when they reach adolescence, turn to friends to a larger extent when they have problems and need advice and support. A compelling and obstructive treatment of a teenager, sets boundaries for and restricts the relationship and the communication between parents and teenager. The teenager responds with indifference, lack of curiosity and other kinds of discouragement. It is clear that conflicts with parents increase in cases where the teenager feels that solidarity and warmth in the family decreases. Some teens really break away from their parents and instead establish other contacts and relationships outside the family. In some cases, it leads to them disappearing completely from their parents both psychologically and emotionally.
Positive development in the relationship teenager – parent:
Children of parents who include their teenager in decisions – make them feel involved – shares more with their parents when they end up in situations where they need help and support. The parents explain, show empathy and warmth, show their interest and commitment, encourage their teenagers to come up with their ideas and are open to a mutual problem solving. They increase and simplify communication with their teenager. Parents who create a good and safe atmosphere in the family make their teenagers feel so safe and secure that he or she dares to take the risk of trying new ideas and perspectives and dares to express new feelings at home. This benefits the teenagers psychological health and identity development.
At the same time, it turns out that a certain degree of control over the teenager is positive for the parent – teen relationship. Parents who set a time for their teenager when to be home and tell them to call in the event of a delay, also turn to their parents to a greater extent when they need support and advice.
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