In case you are a narcissistic person or have the tendency to become one, here are some tips for you. First of all, learn to take on responsibility for your actions yourself. Do not put the blame for everything that goes wrong on someone else’s shoulders. You and your behaviour is something that you yourself have to work with. However, you can always seek help, such as in the form of counselling. You must let old miseries out, but then it is up to you to take on responsibility and change your behaviour for the better.
I have heard an adult narcissistic person can discover things about himself. I, therefore, know that it is possible for you to discover the problems within yourself. This person was terrified after reading about growing up in a narcissistic family, and he started wondering if he too had become one who:
- Boasts and exaggerates his talents and successes (grandiose)
- Believes to be special or superior to others and requires to be treated with great respect
- Requires a lot of attention, praise and admiration from others
- Puts his/her own needs first and takes advantage of others
- Has difficulties putting him or herself into other people’s situation (no empathy, does not care)
- Is at first perceived as a charismatic and exciting person in his/her social life, but then turns into arrogant and condescending when he/she receives a setback.
(Jenny Klefbom, psychologist)
…and he decided to seek help from a psychologist. This is probably the critical point for the person. What would he do now? Will he strengthen his narcissistic defences, or is there enough will and wisdom in him to go through treatment? After all, the treatment is demanding and will go deep down into his soul. He may feel very bad for a period of time, but maybe he has to walk through the fire to free himself from his thoughts, which could be:
- Why don’t people get it?!
- Why is the world full of worthless idiots?!
- Why don’t they do as I please?!
- I’ll give a shit about her!!!
- I have to talk about this amazing thing I accomplished so that everyone can hear and see it!!
- Why don’t they see it?!
- How can they not care about my efforts?! They are ungrateful!!
- I know I was the best!! Why didn’t I win? Are they against me?!! I’ll show them!!
- I’m gonna have that piece of the cake!!
If it sounds like this inside your head, it will make you do things that will have people distance themselves from you eventually. This can definitely lead to people not liking you for a long time, especially once they discover how you are. You get bitter and tell yourself that they are just a bunch of idiots. Over time, the bitterness will be all over you, and people will flee even faster. When that happens, the confirmation which you are consciously or unconsciously looking for in your surroundings seems to you increasingly distant (I here refer to the end of the book). There is a risk that this will not end well at all. /Eva Traff
amazon.com
decreasedisorders.com 