About

Personality Disorders

”Life with a personality disordered parent will end up with childrens lack of self-esteem. The children don´t live, they just don´t die. But some children with disordered parents are killed before they reach their teens.”

Since I wrote my book about Personality Disorders, Narcissism and Psychopathy, I have been told that it is an eye-opener, important to peoples lives. Both my readers and sometimes also their friends have been exposed and hurt, without understanding that someone else owns the problem.

If you don´t understand what´s happening around you, your life may be crushed faster than you know it. People with personality disorders who manipulate, lie and are acting out with emotional coldness seems to increase. It´s not a world we want our children to meet.

I have been exposed all my life. Since my father committed suicide to end his life, a life where he was stuck in a narcissistic personality, I knew that I had to learn more to save my own life.

Our only chance to put a stop to a development where the number of personality disordered individuals increases, is to take a very close look at the problems that pander people to become this way.

Texts about my books:


1. Dad´s childhood album…

… I would have it, my mum said.

I turned over the leaves and saw pictures from the 50´s. An infant, totally left out to the care of adults. One year later, he was a naïve playing child. He was abused, but still happily playing.

Several pages later, at the age of fourteen or fifteen, something had happened. Dad had turned into his father´s “grown, efficient and flawless boy”. I saw it in the pictures. He had “stiffen” in a strange kind of way. Due a childhood of containing abuse he had developed a narcissistic personality. He had got beaten for things he couldn´t help, sometimes even for things he hadn´t done at all. “Nothing would ever become his fault again” – the often underlying phenomenon to narcissism. The narcissistic and in fact mean defence became a fact, which as time passed affected all of us.   

I now must live with my inner pictures of my dad´s childhood, what happened to him and how the person he could have become, was crushed. I also must live with my inner pictures from dad´s last hour before he ended his life. Further I have to try to forgive many of the people in his album, people who surrounded him as a child. I have to try to forgive them for not knowing better. They didn´t know about the future, they didn´t understand. But now I am here and many along with me to tell, affect and change.    

My dear grandmother once found the courage to visit the local police station. Nobody believed her. My grandfather was a very well-spoken man and a respected, skilled professional in the village.

These problems are still facts. The internet is flooded of stories, but people aren’t to be believed. Why? It is possible that they are dealing with narcissistic or psychopathic perpetrators, like my grandfather. In several ways they get people to believe them, believe that they are amazing and flawless or at least that they haven´t done anything wrong. In their vicinity children get hurt. 2020 as well as 1950.

My dad in his turn, didn’t become a good father. People who really discover the phenomenon Narcissism or /and Psychopathy, often starts to hate, hate and hate. That is not strange at all. But the hatred leads to a reduction regarding constructive power of action. Only when we begin to understand, we will become able to act against the complex problems that follows in the wake of Narcissism and Psychopathy.   

2. We give the children a floating pad, when they need a life raft

We are living in a tremendous and never ending flow of information, so most likely this will pass your attention. But maybe, maybe you are one of those people who will find a minute to stop and help out spreading an important message.

In the beginning of the 80´s, a personality disorder was discovered within a little boy in Norway. The experts understood the reasons to his problems, but all together it was decided that his mum could keep her son.

Thirty years later sixty-nine people was shot dead, mostly young people, in an event that probably no one in Scandinavia missed. Hundreds of lives were crushed in the wake of it.  Now, you may think that a massacre like this is unusual, so this message is going to the wastebasket anyway. You yourself haven’t had any inconveniences from this, it´s not about you really, and you may think that this must be someone else´s problem, not yours.

But when the school bell rings for the children to go home, many children goes home to just such an environment which caused this massacre. All of us need to think about the fact that next time it might be our own child or grandchild, or someone else dear to us who gets cheated, abused, raped or murdered. Suddenly, it becomes your problem too, doesn´t it? It´s everybody´s problem. In fact, this is happening randomly all the time, even if it isn´t sixty-nine people at the same time that stops breathing or get crushed in other ways.  

The day it happens in our own vicinity and our own lives get crushed, we get really, really upset and start thinking that it would have been good if the perpetrator in an early state of life had received the proper attention and help to redirect his or her development.

The Convention of the Rights of the Child, is becoming law in an increasing number of countries, but without people´s courage, knowledge and power of action, these children still will be lost. I have repeatedly witnessed flaws regarding children´s safety, and many of them is doomed to stay in a destructive environment. Every instance states that: “Now we have done what we can”, well aware of the fact that the problems will continue. One by one they fall between chairs. The risk for them developing a personality disorder then increases with every day passing.

When personality disordered parents are involved, everything gets so confusing. Their children may from authorities and also civilians, receive a floating pad, when they in fact need a life raft. This is because nobody believes them telling the truth. We can not give them a floating pad in the middle of a storming sea, and then keep our fingers crossed they´ll be okay or pretend that we really care. They are living in a home where they may turn out just like their parents, or maybe even worse.    

If we only for a second calculate the costs for the society that these, (in childhood neglected) people causes, it will be billions. It is legal costs, therapy, treatment regarding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder/Post Narcissist Stress Disorder, physical injuries, sick reports, police operations etc. 

All people with personality disorders do not strike as hard and obvious as Anders Behring Breivik did, who killed sixty-nine people at Utoya in Norway 2011 and eight more in Oslo the very same day, but they still demolish their families psychologically and it goes on from one generation to another until a dandelion child turns up and tries to look clearly at the matter. For us to be able to secure the future for our children and grandchildren, more people are needed to raise above their own immediate and selfish interests. As said, this is everyone´s problem.

This is not another “Let us hate psychopaths”-book in the line. This book is focusing on what we can accomplish together if we become many who possess knowledge and awareness.

3. If Grandmother would have known…

that her precious and beloved child, her dear boy, would suffer a total lack of self-esteem,

that her child would fail regarding his career,

that her child would turn out to be a very inadequate father and husband,

that her child in time would end his own life…

This is the book which both she and grandfather should have read to avoid it all. If I could travel back in time, to hand it over, I would. If you want some ideas regarding how to raise healthy children, do not miss it.