They Were Shot Dead in the Wake of Abuse

We are living in a tremendous and never ending flow of information, so most likely this will pass your attention. But maybe, maybe you are one of those people who will find a minute to stop and help out spreading an important message.

In the beginning of the´ 80s, a personality disorder was discovered within a young boy in Norway. The experts understood the reasons to his problems, but all together it was decided that he could stay in his home.

Thirty years later sixty-nine people was shot dead, mostly young people, in an event that probably no one in Scandinavia missed. Hundreds of lives were crushed in the wake of it.  Now, you may think that a massacre like this is unusual, so this message is going to the wastebasket anyway. You yourself haven’t had any inconveniences from this, it’s not about you really, and you may think that this must be someone else’s problem, not yours.

But when the school bell rings for the children to go home, many children goes home to exactly such an environment which caused this massacre. All of us need to think about the fact that next time it might be our own child or grandchild, or someone else dear to us who gets cheated, abused, raped or murdered. Suddenly, it becomes your problem too, doesn’t it? It’s everybody’s problem. In fact, this is happening randomly all the time, even if it it’s not sixty-nine people at the same time that stops breathing or get crushed in other ways.  

When it happens in our own vicinity and our own lives get crushed, we get really, really upset and starts thinking that it would have been good if the perpetrator in an early state of life had received the proper attention and help to redirect his or her development.

The Convention of the rights of the child, is becoming law in an increasing number of countries, but without people’s courage, knowledge and power of action, these children will still be lost. I have repeatedly witnessed flaws regarding children’s safety, and many of them is doomed to stay in a destructive environment. Every instance states that: “Now, we have done all we can,” well aware of the fact that the problems will continue. One by one they fall between chairs. The risk for them developing a personality disorder then increases with every day passing.

When personality disordered parents are involved, everything gets so confusing. The children may, from authorities and also civilians, receive a floating pad, when they in fact need a life raft to save themselves. This is because nobody believes in them telling the truth. We can not provide them with a floating pad in the middle of a storming sea, and then keep our fingers crossed they´’ll be okay, or pretend that we really care. They are living in a home where they may turn out just like their parents, or maybe even worse.    

If we only for a second calculate the costs for the society that these, as children neglected people causes, it will be billions. It is legal costs, therapy, treatment regarding Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, physical injuries, sick reports, police operations etc. 

Remember, children growing up today are, and will always be our children’s and grandchildren’s fellow human beings. It’s not about my children. It’s not about your children. It’s about our children.

amazon.com

Children Diagnosed ADHD Are at Risk

Research has shown there seems to be a connection between ADHD and psychopathy. It is known that a small proportion of children having the diagnosis of ADHD develop psychopathy. It is a connection which researchers want to learn more about, and it’s being worked on. The connection could be as follows:

“Children with ADHD are at risk of developing anti-social traits due to the lack of attention and impulse control. It is considered that the risk of psychopathy increases significantly if the environment does not correctly assess the condition, but instead punishes the child for things he or she cannot help.”

Read more in

amazon.com


It’s About the Way We Are, a Way of Being

I realize that there is nothing special we have to do to help our children with their self-esteem, instead it’s about the way we are, a way of being.”

Maria Glansén

The author´s purpose with this book is to help you as a parent to develop strong self-esteem and also inspire your thinking about children´s development in becoming strong, good-hearted, and independent human beings. The book is also connected to modern research, research with the purpose of making the world a better place for children.

Grab the Copy Now: https://curtify.co/xWjki

#evatraff #mentalillness #learn #findhappiness #amazon

#bookstagram #books #book #reading #booklover #author #follow #bookworm #booksofinstagram #bookstagrammer #evatraff #Narcissism #Psychopathy

Believe in Your Children – It Will Help Them to Succeed

Believe in your children’s ability to succeed. Believe in their dreams. Sometimes children are dreaming of big accomplishments in life. Do not diminish their dreams by saying: ”Well, well, we’ll see about that.”

A neighbour of mine dreamed of becoming a fighter pilot when he was a child. It may not be the first thing you want for your children, but it was his dream. It is also hard work, not easy to succeed.

Twenty years later, a fighter jet flew in loops above my neighbour’s house. Their son showed them his appreciation – His loops were a great Thank You to his parents who supported him and believed in him during childhood. He had reached his goal in life.

Your Attitude Towards Your Child Is Crucial

Remember that the attitude you have towards your child becomes the child’s attitude towards oneself – his or her self-image. A parent is, of course, of crucial importance to a child. Parents who perceive their children as annoying, will have children who learn that they are annoying people. Parents who see their children as no one at all, will have children who learn that they are no one at all. Maybe you think that they are too young to notice, that they do not perceive or reflect so much. That is not true. Your attitude will be imprinted in their hearts and their souls.

Provide them with the attention they deserve. Create space for the patience that children often need. Show them the love you want them to carry in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

The author’s purpose with this book is to help you as a parent to strong self-esteem and also inspire your thinking about children´s development in becoming strong, good-hearted, and independent human beings. The book is also connected to modern research, research with a purpose to make the world a better place for children.

https://curtify.co/xWjki

Protect Your Child From Narcissistic Bullies

I believe we all have met them. The bullies. Children may be extra sensitive, since they are building a basic self-esteem. Building self-esteem is a demanding process. Unfortunately, the hard work can easily be razed.

Protect your children from people who hurt them in different ways. It can be everything from diminishing, almost hidden comments to physical violence. It can be everything from a bullying classmate to an abusive parent.

Also explain to them why people sometimes behave badly, that the problem lies within the perpetrators. There is no reason to take on the blame for other’s bad behaviour.

Even if we sometimes can perceive explanations to someones bad behaviour, we should not make up excuses for the perpetrator, because that may end up in a very dangerous manipulative situation. Everyone should be responsible for their actions and our children should know that.

https://curtify.co/xWjki

https://curtify.co/KFvYV

Stay Close – Your Teenager Needs You

It may turn out wrong when we take for granted that young people can cope when they reach puberty. They are “almost adults” now. They are going to high school! We will be wrong in this matter because of the fact that their brains are under “reorganization,” their entire lives are under construction. For parents to be present, helping them through this remodel is, of course, of great meaning. To me, this is not the same as “spoiling” them. We understand that we have to separate one thing from another.

I think about this often in our every day life when my children now are entering this phase of life – I have to take a step back, but still be very close.

Eva Träff, decreasedisorders.com

Read more:

Eva Traff Books

https://curtify.co/KFvYV

https://curtify.co/xWjki

The Bystander Effect – Dangerous as Hell

Imagine what we all can accomplish together in our societies if we all would be aware of The Bystander Effect. The Bystander Effect is one of the reasons to why children are ”allowed” to continue their bullying in schools. Adults are also bullied at work. Abuse in families is overlooked, and other destructive behaviors are allowed to continue. Often there are many people around, who are aware of an ongoing situation.

Is the following a true statement?: The more people who know about a situation, the less responsibility rests on my shoulders.

Watch:

If we imagine for a second that it is ourselves, or maybe our grown up child who is lying there, with unbearable stomach pain, without being able to breathe, and with the conviction that this may be the last day in life, and hundreds of citizens look at you / your child and just passes by… How would we experience such a thing? Would we ever get over it? That is, if we survive?

Eva Träff, decreasedisorders.com

Eva Traff Books

amazon.com, Eva Traff

https://curtify.co/KFvYV

https://curtify.co/xWjki

Decrease the Risk for Narcissistic Traits in Children

While your children are growing up, a lot will happen around them. You may be extremely tired and irritated, and sometimes one last straw will break the camel’s back. We all know it.

But still, it is a good thing for your children if you are aware of the following:

Try to not yell at them, blame them or make them ashamed of things they have not done, cannot help or cannot control. If it does happen you need to apologize for your mistake.

To grow up with a lot of blame and shame and with parents who do not show respect by asking for forgiveness, can be devastating to a child’s development. It may reinforce narcissistic traits within a child, since ”nothing ever will be their fault again.”

amazon.com

Grab the Copy Now: https://curtify.co/xWjki

amazon.com

Grab the Copy Now: https://curtify.co/KFvYV

Apologize, but Also Draw a Line

We all want our children to turn out well. One important part of this is to teach them to apologize when they have actually made a mistake and caused problems for others. This way shame can be turned into self-confidence in actually being able to admit mistakes. They are still good people, you know.

But also teach them to draw a line between what they’ve caused, and which problems that are actually caused by others. Unfortunately, the world is crowded with narcissistic people, who repeatedly manages to put blame for their mistakes on another person’s shoulders.

amazon.com

decreasedisorders.com

Eva Traff Books

Grab the Copy Now: https://curtify.co/xWjki

Grab the Copy Now: https://curtify.co/KFvYV