Beauty is great fun but try to not get stuck in a destructive struggle for it. And alongside your interest in beauty, try to find deeper and more sustainable interests in life – Joy that will last all the way to your last day.
On your last day, make sure to be able to look back to a great life, not only focusing on the beauty that disappeared alongside your happiness.
Narcissism & Psychopathy: A Book About Those Who Never Find True Happiness
If you want your children to turn out well, make sure they feel appreciated. The attitude a parent has to his or her child, will be the child’s attitude towards oneself as young and adult. So – Are they important people or are they nobody? Are they a pain in the ass, or is it a lovely moment when they enter the room?
Push the brakes in life and show them that you appreciate their attempts of showing love, and their will to communicate.
A book for parents to teach their children how to be respectful. This book will help with self-esteem in children. The book is called Safe Harbour and it’s available on Amazon.
If you want your child to turn out well, be aware of the fact that children surprisingly often turn out to be just like their parents. If you are calm and kind, that will be what your child learns. If you are stressed, and therefore are angry most of the times, that will be what your child learns. This equation isn’t always easy to live up to, but it’s a good start to remind yourself about it at least once a day.
Eva Traff, decreasedisorders.com / Eva Traff Books
Can someone please explain to me how one single man can ”be allowed” to decide who lives or dies? It may be a hundred, or a thousand, even millions of people dying just because one individual has decided to go to history as a powerful man. Just because he has decided beforehand he is a very important person, more important than everybody else, it is obviously okay to bomb, hurt or kill other people’s children, mothers, fathers, pets and devastate cities.
We are almost eight billion men, women and children living on earth. That makes me wonder how someone can choose himself to be so important. Probably, these men would have needed to learn the difference between right and wrong already from the start. If they are incapable of learning, something is very wrong, and power of any kind mustn’t be given. One great problem in this is that we do not see the warning signals in due time. They must be stopped in a very young age, because when they peak, it is too late. This also requires a psychologically healthy generation to raise them.
True power comes with people who knows the difference between right and wrong. But to some people it seems it doesn’t matter if we can read about them in the history-books as being psychopathic murderers, or if they will be remembered as heroes. If you are incapable to be a hero, maybe you want to go to history in whatever context you can come up with.
My name is Eva Traff. Truth is, I’m a rather introvert person. Raised in a narcissistic family, I learned that my words had no meaning. But even though my family didn’t listen to me, I’ve learned the world needs me. The world needs every kind-hearted person there is. Don’t let anyone shut you up. It’s not healthy.
Eva Traff decreasedisorders.com / Eva Traff Books / amazon.com
A very readable book on a very current topic. Reading this book leads to many thoughts and aha moments. I did recognize situations both as a civilian and from my job, where I have been working with children for thirty years. The author describes her situation growing up with a personality disordered parent. Many people will find the content familiar, I’m sure. The book provided me with many thoughts and concrete methods regarding how we can help these children and also how they can help themselves. We can not ignore these children! It is everyone’s duty to help and support them! /Diana
This book is an important thought-provoker, on a personal level as well as on a societal level. The book is a must to read for the people who want, and need to understand what it is like to be exposed to these personality disorders.
As individuals and also as a society there is a lot we can do to create a better life, not least for the children. A sincere thanks to the author, who shares her innermost of feelings and thoughts and for your dedication! /John
Dad was clearly an expert on keeping us in his grip. He constantly gave us a dose of “Feel sorry for me–preparation.” It was mainly about his back. He laid on the floor to stretch it out almost every evening, and he complained very much when he was about to get up. We all helped him.
My sister sometimes said: “Daddy will probably die young. He won’t get older than thirty with all that pain and all his hard work.” I was so young and naïve that I believed that she might be right. Of course, it brought fear. Fear from the fact that dad could actually disappear any minute. It was he who kept us alive. It was he who was the important one, and now he was so worn out that he could die.
But one day, as I was walking up the stairs, I saw between steps that he inside the living room stood up completely without a problem. A very first natural thought that struck me was that dad might sometimes be exaggerating, but I never said anything.
Narcissism and Psychopathy is a book which will provide you with good pieces of advice, if you need to protect your children from Narcissistic personalities:
Is silence a good or a bad thing? Oftentimes it is a good thing. Sometimes it is not.
Eva Traff, decreasedisorders / Eva Traff Books
Maybe you are a person like me, who also have worked hard to build self-esteem. Narcissistic and / or psychopathic personality types, however, will demolish your self-esteem in no time. You feel like you are the worst person in the world. The narcissistic person wants you to crawl. He or she tries to turn everything around and make himself or herself seem like the victim, make you feel ashamed of something you did without knowing what you did wrong. And he or she will manage to do this to you. You will run after the person and ask and ask. If you come up with something that you believe might be the reason for such behavior, you ask him or her, Is it this? Is it that? The person still won’t answer, and finally – you crawl. You, who are healthy, have become so desperate to find out what you did wrong that you won’t relax, unwind, or forget about it. The narcissistic and / or the psychopathic person eats you from the inside and knows it.
If you are in trouble, this book will be a great support.
I tell: In my family, dad’s words were law. He never said it out loud, but that is probably the case regarding narcissistic people. With his strong appearance, there was no question about it. We never questioned him. His perspective was the right one, and it also became our perspective. The thought of him being wrong probably never struck us. He often said bad things about other people. Everything was black or white. A gray scale did not exist, that is, seeing situations from different perspectives. He decided what his opinion was. We never reasoned about anything. He was like our family’s dictator. We did not create any own thoughts or own knowledge about anyone or anything.
Narcissism & Psychopathy: A Book About Those Who Never Find True Happiness
In life, there are so many ‘rules.’ How to dress, how to look, how to speak, how to act, how to live… If you get punched in your face, don’t forget to support yourself. Ask yourself the following question: Is this really important, or is it just another ‘rule’ invented by humans?
Sometimes it’s like we are losing our way in things that really don’t matter, and we get lost. I mean, the world is falling apart right now. Earth is warming up, there is a lack of food and water, people are shooting and have done so for a long period of time. Children are killed by their parents… You can go on. These are serious things that really matter. Things we should gather ourselves around and try to stop.
A while ago, I nearly lost my son. It was his heart. I held his hand at the hospital in what could have been his last hour. That matters. How we cut our hair or how we dress aren’t in the same league. So, next time somebody attacks you for something totally unimportant, bear in mind that they’ve lost their way. They are lost to what really matters in life, and instead they may start inventing rules for shallow things.
Eva Traff, decreasedisorders.com / Eva Traff Books
Are you tiptoeing to keep others satisfied and happy? Are you afraid of what they may say about you if you don’t? Are you constantly adapting to others?
You are probably a very sensitive and kindhearted person. A good example of a human being. A good example who always does your best, cares about others, wants everything to be for the best. You do the best you can with EVERYTHING.
People like you are needed, and there is no need for the slightest anxiety regarding who you are. Unfortunately you almost destroy yourself along the road. This may be because you are constantly tiptoeing and are afraid of what others will think about what you do and say, are afraid to make others sad and constantly are adapting to others. Try to steer your kindness to help those in need instead of putting energy on keeping mean people satisfied.
Good examples of humans can move forward in life with a far stronger self-confidence, simply because they are good examples. They should let their voices be heard. They should let their light shine.
Eva Traff, decreasedisorders.com / Eva Traff Books
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