Even if we are completely healthy – no suffering from a disorder of any kind, it is a fact that our lives often are stressful and we also sometimes lack knowledge regarding nurture. In my book Safe Harbour, I do not sneak with the information about me lacking knowledge as a parent of very young children. Instead I´m completely honest about it. However, back then I gathered the knowledge which seemed to be needed, wrote it down and it turned into a book. Ten years later, I can see that my children have developed into very satisfied and harmonic teenagers. My happiness is then complete, of course.
After reading Safe Harbour, a friend of mine, who also had very young children at the time, expressed herself like this: ”I realize that there is nothing special we have to do to help our children with their self-esteem, Instead it is about the way we are, a way of being.”
What she said is very important. That is why narcissistic and psychopathic parents shouldn´t be trusted to take care of children. They lack the ability to act in the best interest of others. Raising healthy children is about a way of being.
Children are not always noticed and brought up to be happy in youth and adulthood. If I would choose one single word that we need to be familiar with when we are talking about upbringing and parenting, it would be TRUST. Without trust and the feeling of safety, there will be damage. Be sure of it.
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